


Little White Flowers

by ispeakforthesharks



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Fluff, I Love You, Kissing, M/M, Not Canon Compliant, literally just fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-25
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-12 23:29:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29642346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ispeakforthesharks/pseuds/ispeakforthesharks
Summary: His laugh is the prettiest sound I’ve ever heard. He’s the prettiest thing I’ve ever seen. "I love him," is a thought that is suddenly in my head. I don’t know what to do with it. Should I tell him? Probably. But not right now. Not when it’ll mess up everything we’ve worked for these past few months.-Simon struggles to say "I love you" for the first time.
Relationships: Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow
Comments: 2
Kudos: 32





	Little White Flowers

The Great Lawn is beautiful in the springtime. Flowers bloom in patches that attract butterflies and a few of the trees sprout tiny white blossoms that smell faintly of honey. Penny doesn’t like the smell. She says it must be magicked on because the natural trees don’t smell that way. I don’t mind though. I think it’s nice. Other people must think so too, because this afternoon there are at least 30 other students spread over the lawn doing last minute revising for exams tomorrow. 

Baz is here to study as well. He has his nose in a book and his back to one of the larger flowering trees. His legs are tucked against his chest like he’s afraid to take up too much space. Revising has never helped me in the past, so I haven’t bought anything with me. I’m spread out across from him, watching him turn pages. A white petal floats down into Baz’s hair. He’s a vision. He always has been. 

We started dating a month ago when Penny knocked some sense into me and helped me to realize that I’ve been obsessed with him for different reasons than I thought. I caught up with him in our dorm one day and confessed how I felt. I figured that he would either laugh in my face and kill me right there, or tell me he felt the same way, like Penny said he would. To my astonishment, he didn’t immediately drain me dry. It’s been the best few weeks of my life. I like this so much better than fighting. 

I crawl through the thick grass to sit closer to Baz. He doesn’t look up at me, but his eyes lose focus on his page and I know I have his attention. 

“Baz.” I say.

“Snow.” 

“Read to me.”

The corner of Baz’s mouth quirks up. “Simon, this is a textbook.”

“Okay. Read it to me. I like hearing you talk.” 

His cheeks color a dusty pink. He probably fed this morning. 

“If that’s what you want.” He relents. 

Being his boyfriend is worlds better than being his enemy. Last year, he would have hexed me for simply looking in his direction. Now he’ll read his textbook aloud to me just because I asked him to. I think he would do almost anything if I asked him. 

Baz moves his knees from his chest and stretches his legs out in front of him. I lay my head on his thigh and look up at his face. I watch the way his mouth moves as he starts to read. I don’t know what his book is about. I stop paying attention after the first few words. I could probably fall asleep like this if I let myself. One time in third year, I tried to convince the Mage that I needed a new roommate because sleeping in a room with Baz Pitch, a vampire, was far too dangerous. At night when I was asleep, he could catch me unawares in the middle of a dream and bite me right in the neck. He could do whatever he wanted. But the Mage never let me switch dorms and Baz never bit me. Now I realize that I wouldn’t be able to fall asleep anywhere without Baz. The sound of his breathing lulls me to sleep. I feel the safest when I’m with him. 

“Baz.” I say again, interrupting him. 

He stops reading mid sentence. “Snow. I thought you wanted me to read to you?”

“I did. Can I kiss you?”

Baz laughs. “Simon. I have an exam tomorrow.”

I shrug. He’ll do well whether he studies or not. I tell him so.

“It would still bode well for me to study. There’s no way I can beat Bunce if I don’t.”

I shrug again. 

“Simon, you’re infuriatingly persistent. I hate you sometimes.”

“No, you don’t.”

“No, I don’t.”

He lets me kiss him. 

…

Baz’s last exam ends in five minutes. I’ve been waiting outside his exam room for thirty, just in case they end early. I stare up and count the lights on the ceiling to pass the time. I haven’t spoken with Baz since yesterday, when he read his book to me under that tree. Right after, he dashed off to the library to study where he stayed holed up until way past dinner time. I tried to stay awake for him, but I think he went to feed again in the Catacombs. When I woke up, his bed was already made and he had left for his exams. 

Yesterday, I had a lot of time to think, which I normally try to avoid. But with Penny and Baz both cramming for finals, I had no one to distract me. I thought about my relationship with Baz. We’ve been dating for a month, but it feels like it’s been a lot longer. We’ve known each other for nearly 8 years. Sure, most of that time was spent spitting insults at each other and picking fights, but he told me that he’s had a crush on me almost since he first saw me. Maybe I’ve fancied him for that long too. There’s no way you can spend 7 years hating someone to the point of stalking them, without falling a little bit in love with them. Am I in love with him? Is he in love with me? I don’t want to think about it. 

The door to the exam room bursts open and exhausted students come pouring out. I stand up and dust off my trousers. I don’t see Baz yet. He probably took the longest and held everyone up triple checking his work, the wanker. 

“How long have you been here?”

I spin around. Baz somehow managed to get out of the classroom without me even noticing him. He doesn’t look like he sat in a chair for two hours. His shirt looks freshly pressed and his hair perfectly gelled back. 

“Half an hour.” I grin. 

“Crowley! When did you start arriving early instead of monstrously late?”

“I wanted to be here in case you got out early.”

“You set aside your habits for me, Snow? I’m flattered.”

He holds out his hand for me to take. I do. 

“How was the exam?” I ask. “Do you think you did well?”

“Of course.” 

“Think you beat Penny?”

He smirks at me. “Of course.”

“That’s not what you were saying yesterday.” 

He rolls his eyes. “Only because you wouldn’t stop snogging me while I was trying to study. Fortunately, I was able to make up for that wasted time in the library.”

“Wasted?” I tease. We start up the stairs to our dorm. “You seemed to have different thoughts about it while I was kissing you.”

“Maybe.”

“You liked it.”

He smiles at me. 

“Maybe.”

…

I reach to grab the last scone. Baz scoffs. I look him in the eyes as I shove it into my mouth. He feigns disgust and returns to his conversation with Penny. They’re talking about one of the questions on the Greek exam. Or something. I’m not really paying much attention. I’m imagining how it will be in three days when the term ends and then I won’t have Watford to come back to anymore. I’ll never have to go back to a care home either, though. Penny and I have already found a flat. Baz is even going to be staying near us, so I’ll be able to see him often enough. We figured it would be too much to share a flat after living in the same dorm for 8 years. But he’ll only be 10 minutes away. I’m worried about how I’m going to sleep though. I’ll have to call him every night to listen to him breathe through the phone. I haven’t talked to him about this. He’ll probably chide me about wasting data. 

I look at him now. He has a smile on his face but he’s biting his cheeks to try and hide it. He is determined not to let Penny know that he’s soft for her. He’s rolled his sleeves up to the elbows, and bloody hell, I wish he’d do that more often, but he’s too prim and proper for that. He gives in to the smile he was hiding and laughs full out. His laugh is the prettiest sound I’ve ever heard. He’s the prettiest thing I’ve ever seen.  _ I love him _ , is a thought that is suddenly in my head. I still don’t know what to do with it. Should I tell him? Probably. But not right now. Not when it’ll mess up everything we’ve worked for these past few months. 

…

Baz is asleep across the room from me. He’s turned toward me and enough moonlight is shining through the window for me to see his face. He looks so peaceful. Moments like this make me wonder how I could have ever thought that I hated him. His dark hair flows strikingly over his pale, moonlit skin. I want to reach over and move it out of his eyes. I could. He’s so close. So I do. I reach across the space between our beds and brush his hair back onto his pillow. His skin is so cold. I cup his face with my palm. 

“Baz.” I whisper. Even speaking so softly sounds too loud to my ears in this silence. 

“Baz.” I say again. “I think I love you.” 

I run my thumb across his cheek. He hasn’t stirred. 

“I think I love you.”

…

People are crying and hugging each other, promising to call as much as possible. This happens at the end of every term, but it’s never this much. There are never this many tears. This many promises. I’m with Baz under a flowering tree again. Penny and I are leaving together, so there’s really no need to say goodbye. I’ll probably see Baz in the next week, but it still fills me with dread to think about seeing him go. 

“Simon.” He says, like he’s going to hate seeing me go too. “You’ve got a flower in your hair.” 

I shake my head wildly, like a dog drying itself of water. 

Baz laughs fondly. “Must you always look like a wild animal?” 

I find the errant flower and reach out to thread it through Baz’s hair instead. It stands out in a shock of bright white.

He shakes his head at me and reaches up to remove it, but I stop him. 

“Keep it?”

“Okay.” 

“You’re very pretty, Baz.” My hand is still curled around his. 

He reaches onto the ground and finds another flower. He nestles it into my curls. “We match.” 

“We match.” I say.

He keeps looking into my eyes, and the insistent thought comes back.  _ I love him.  _ He pulls me into his lap and goes to kiss me. I let him.  _ I love him.  _

“Baz.” I pull back.

“Is something wrong?” 

“No.”

“Okay.” He tries to kiss me again.

“No, wait.”

He lifts his hands in mock surrender. 

“Baz.”

“Simon?”

“Baz, I love you.”

His hands drop back to the grass. His brows shoot up in surprise. I wonder if I was right and I just ruined everything with one sentence. 

“That’s okay.” I say quickly. Maybe I should have kept this to the darkness of our bedroom. “We can just snog-”

“Simon, I’ve loved you for three years.”

My eyes widen and my stomach flips. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

I smile and pull myself up to kiss him. “I love you.” I say against his mouth. It’s nice to finally say it out loud. And hear it said back. 

“I love you.”

Another flower petal falls in my hair. The Great Lawn is beautiful in the springtime. 

  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I had so much fun writing this! Thank you so much to my friend for helping me edit :) Hope you enjoyed it!


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